Mixed Feelings

One of my dearest and best friends from 6th grade just called to tell me she is expecting. I am so excited for her and share in her joy, and love her so much that I truly feel her excitement and joy. At the same time, I am feeling sorry for myself since I have lost two babies-one in October 2003, the other January 2005. I know the Lord’s timing is perfect and He knows what is best for our family and I am going to trust, but it’s almost a yearning at this point in time for me and my heart so desires to do His will, but at the same time, have another child. Another dear friend of mine recently had a miscarriage and we have been praying for each other and walking through it together–the emotions of loss and wanting another and trusting the Lord to know that now might not be the best time, no matter how much it hurts. It’s just so hard to live in His will sometimes, and be patient. The Lord is good and He has taught me many things this year and I am so excited to see what He will continue to teach me as I wait on Him. ‘Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on you own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight’. Prov. 3:5-6- And then one of my favorite verses that came to mind just now is Jer. 29:11-13-‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.’ I know that the Lord has awesome plans for our family and if anyone is stuggling with waiting on Him or with circumstances, just want to encourage you with these verses that the Lord brought to my mind. He loves us more than we can ever imagine and has our best interest at heart. He holds us in His hands and I know He will take care of us and mend our broken hearts.


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One response to “Mixed Feelings

  1. Anonymous

    Looking back you know
    You had to bring me through
    All that I was so afraid of
    Though I questioned the sky now I see why
    Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
    Looking back I see the lead of love

    from Caedmon’s Call, “Lead of Love”

    Love you. Meet you at the mountain top.


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