On a different note…

I know this is a lot to post in one day, but it’s been one of those days. I am missing my baby, being pregnant, all the things that go with that…..it’s amazing that, although it wasn’t with me for that long, there is that instant ‘connection’, a bond that is so indescribable, I won’t even try. I don’t know if it’s the weather today or just me, but man, it’s all of a sudden heavy on my heart. I was thinking today about how the nurse in the hospital gave me a number to call for a share group for ladies of have suffered loss of this type, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t feel like I can share my heart and feelings with complete strangers, no matter if they are in the same boat or not. I guess it’s no different than what I am doing now, for all the world to read, but I guess it’s different too than being face to face. I don’t know, I just don’t think that’s for me at this stage of the game. I do tend to be a more private person and have never been good at sharing feelings, emotions, ect. openly to others. I remember my mom always having to sit down with me ‘to talk’ and then she would end up saying ‘Okay, Kara, if you aren’t going to tell me what’s going on, we are going to sit here until you do’ And my sweet mom would sit there for hours literally, until I could do it. I just wanted it to come out right and make sure I said it the right way, so I would sit and think about how to say it rather than just saying it. But I have always been more of a ‘thinker’ than a talker. Just ask Micah. I will think something and then just tell him and he’s like ‘Where in the world did that come from?’ And it’s usually something that has absolutely nothing to do with what we were talking about at the moment.
Okay, I suppose I am now officially rambling, but it’s one of those days and I just needed to ‘talk’.
I am so thankful for the ministry that the Lord has placed within Darlene Zschech. Her music has ministered to me so much lately. Another song that I have been listening to every time I get a chance today.

Holy Holy
I will bow before
My Lord and King
Hallelujah
You have come to us
You make all things new

Emmanuel
Jesus Christ
You'll never let me go
My Shepherd King
You'll never let me go
My Sheperd King
You're watching over me
Emmanuel

So amazing
You have named the stars
Of the deepest night
Still You love me
You have called my name
I will follow You

Holy Holy
God Almighty
There is none like You
Holy Holy
God Almighty
There is none like You

Thank you Lord for the reminder--You will NEVER let me go and
You're watching over me all the time!
I love you Jesus.
Kara
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3 Comments

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3 responses to “On a different note…

  1. Anonymous

    Hi friend,
    Just wanted you to know I prayed for you today. I am so inspired by you and your faithfulness to give glory to Him.
    love you,
    Sandra

  2. Anonymous

    I have felt exactly like you Kara. Since the boys died, I can think about the whole thing and I do daily, but then when it comes to putting it into words, there are few to none. I come across cranky or non emotional or sad, but cannot say the words. I don’t really know if God is here right now. I know He is, but then I don’t. Hard to say again. It is good to read your comments because I don’t really feel like sharing them with others right now either. I do wish that God would visit me in a major big way and let me feel His presence and let me just sense Him like I never had to know that everything will be okay.
    Thanks for sharing with me, Stacye Bacon!

  3. Kara

    Stacye,
    Lord, I pray for Stacye right now, that You would reveal Yourself to her in a new way, that You would wrap Your arms around her and show Yourself so real, she would have no doubt. We thank You that You will get us through this and that we are to take one day at a time with you and not rush the process.
    Thank You for what You are going to do in our lives and for those we will impact.
    In YOUR name, Amen.
    Keep believing,
    Kara

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