So, as I am sitting here looking on facebook and random other things I frequent, and I come across something. Have you ever seen something that makes your heart sink in your stomach? It’s something I can’t control. Yet my heart aches. Yet for some reason I can’t cry. The tears don’t come. Maybe another day. I find myself with a range of raw emotions…yet I’m not sure what to do with them. I can lay them at the foot of the cross….where Jesus said I could always take them.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy. I’m learning it’s a daily thing. So why this overwhelmingness all of a sudden? Why did You want me to see what I saw tonight? Jesus, is it okay to tell you that I ache? Is it okay to say that I’m hurt and mad? Is it okay to wish that this is all a dream? My dad encouraged me today and told me to focus on today, not the past or the future, today. Step by step. And mine are baby steps and minute by minute steps. Is it okay to go minute by minute and not put pressure on yourself to do it so quickly? Sure. Is it easy? No. Will He always be there? Yes. I’m not through the fire yet, I’m in it, yet not burned.
I surrender what I can’t control. I lay my thoughts, hurts, my rights, at Your feet. You have washed me clean and forgiven me. Your grace is sufficient.
Haven is at VBS tonight with one of her friends, so Harbin and I played around and had fun just him and I. Oh, and I made salsa for the first time. ever.
Harbin has been enjoying cereal and cereal boxes lately. His new thing is that every evening when we get home, he goes straight for the cabinet. Then carries the box around the house eating…..
This is amazing. Thanks Amber for the reminder. Truly what the Lord wanted me to hear today.
When I pray – “Lord, show me what sanctification means for me,” He will show me. It means being made one with Jesus. Sanctification is not something Jesus Christ puts into me: it is Himself in me. (1 Cor. 1:30.)
He knew at this very moment where we would be.
Our happies, our hurts, our loves, our grief.
I heard Him say ‘Can I hold you? Will you let me be everything you need right now, and help you through?
‘Will you surrender everything to me, EVERYTHING, and let me show you’?
‘Lord, it’s so hard, everything?
I know I’m supposed to, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do’.
‘But I will b.c I trust You and I don’t want to be in the way of who or what You are going to use’.
‘Jesus, You are perfecting my faith in You.
I choose to do what You ask, and know it’s in Your hands’.
‘Kara, please continue to trust and believe in Me. Don’t give up. Believe, trust, stand.’
There’s distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms’ round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I
know you’re always here
But the comfort of you near is what I long for
[ CHORUS ]
When I can’t feel you, I have learned
to reach out just the same
When I can’t hear you, I know you
still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I’m made more faithful
All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still
trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let
it roll around my tongue,
knowing you’re the only one who knows me
You know me
[ CHORUS ]
[ BRIDGE ]
Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want