So, as I am sitting here looking on facebook and random other things I frequent, and I come across something. Have you ever seen something that makes your heart sink in your stomach? It’s something I can’t control. Yet my heart aches. Yet for some reason I can’t cry. The tears don’t come. Maybe another day. I find myself with a range of raw emotions…yet I’m not sure what to do with them. I can lay them at the foot of the cross….where Jesus said I could always take them.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy. I’m learning it’s a daily thing. So why this overwhelmingness all of a sudden? Why did You want me to see what I saw tonight? Jesus, is it okay to tell you that I ache? Is it okay to say that I’m hurt and mad? Is it okay to wish that this is all a dream? My dad encouraged me today and told me to focus on today, not the past or the future, today. Step by step. And mine are baby steps and minute by minute steps. Is it okay to go minute by minute and not put pressure on yourself to do it so quickly? Sure. Is it easy? No. Will He always be there? Yes. I’m not through the fire yet, I’m in it, yet not burned.
I surrender what I can’t control. I lay my thoughts, hurts, my rights, at Your feet. You have washed me clean and forgiven me. Your grace is sufficient.