Monthly Archives: August 2008

August 28. 2008. 9.15pm

This is the day and time that our baby girl asked Jesus into her heart. Almost exactly 6 years to the day and time…God is good….a year of new beginnings indeed.

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The week.

It was a week. Haven’s first week of kindergarten. End-of-the-week craziness from work, where, ironically, I got the same lecture, er, I mean, corrective criticism that hurts, yet is the truth. Kind of like what God is teaching me in this season of growing. Just like Him to tell me again through my boss and my boss’ boss…
A week of forgiveness, day to day, hour by hour. A week that ended (on Friday) with a late night with a friend and her kids that Haven and Harbin stay with sometimes during the day….we were all so blessed. And yet another blessing that I can’t mention at the moment, but will when the time is right.
How God is pursuing me, ever so gently, and putting people in my path that have encouraged me, prayed for me, and not given up…..who have, and are staying the course with me…even if we don’t get to see or talk to each other as much as I would like, you know who you are, and I hope you know that I love each of you…thank you for loving me and praying..
How He has encouraged my kids at just he right time, with a postcard from nana and bopa (thanks mom and dad–they loved it) that made them feel so loved and special….and how the heart of the Father is found in His children….
He makes all things new….new beginnings, redemption, renewal.

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The Kindergartner.

Today, Haven had her first day of kindergarten. She had a great first day. We went to the park tonight to celebrate and have a picnic. Her friend, Cade, who she’s in the picture with, is in her class. His mom and I grew up together when I was in first grade and beyond. It’s amazing how our kids are now in the same class.
A few pictures…
Siblings.

Pretty girl.
Before School.

Big sister.
Helping Harbin up the stairs before school started.

On the swing.
Having fun at the park.

On the slide.
On the slide.

On the slide 2.
I love his belly in this one…

Holding hands.
Holding Hands.

Friend, Cade.
Cade and Haven.

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Open House.


The name.


Case in point…bad camera.

Not the greatest….my camera decided to crap out on me….hmmm, maybe time to start looking for another….anywho, Haven’s open house went well. She’s excited….I’m nervous.

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No training wheels.
Haven enjoying her new found freedom.

No training wheels part 2

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Deep in thought….sweet boy.

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You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

Pre-Chorus:

I trust in You
I trust in You

Chorus:

I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need

[Repeat Verse]

[Repeat Pre-Chorus}

[Chorus]

Bridge:

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

]

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

]

I got this at W.M today. It has, once again, been used to meet me literallly where I’m at. For some reason, I have struggled this weekend. More so than others. Anxiety-like attacks, Haven and I were going at it like she was a 16 year old…frustrating, yet I knew this wasn’t me, or her. Tonight, I was talking to her about her bike, which she can now ride without training wheels, and she was frustrated b.c we had to come in and get ready for bed, ect. and her bike chain broke, and other random frustrating things happened to her bike. ANYWAY, I have never once cried in front of the kids, except at their births, and when we lost our babies, but tonight, I talked to her about how mommy didn’t have money to go out and buy her a new bike, or the power wheels she wants. That I love her and I would give her the world…yet I couldn’t. I bawled like a baby…she asked why I was crying and I told her that I loved her so much, her daddy loved her so much, but that Jesus loved her even more than us put together. That Jesus gave mommy a job so that I can pay for our house and her clothes, ect. ect. And I asked her to forgive me for being frustrated with her this weekend….and then we prayed.

I say all that to say, when the kids were asleep, I listened to this CD and youtubed the videos, and I’m sitting here in His presense…my agenda for the night is shot….work can wait.

I’m reminded of so many things. Nothing’s impossible for Jesus….will you let Him be your healer tonight? Your hurts, your broken heart, your dreams and desires that have gone unfulfilled?  I say this to myself, as I feel I had a missed opportunity at church this morning and yet I seemed glued to my seat for some reason…fear….embarrassment….

I’m still learning. I’m growing.

I learned that when you are walking in faith, loving your enemies and blessing them, you are living our your testimony. I pray whatever faith journey you are in right now, that you will continue to trust. Don’t give up. He’s your Healer and refiner in the desert places….

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Day to Day.

I have to be honest, it is minute by minute for me today. Today, the reality hit in a different way for me. I was angry b.c I did something essentially by myself. Something that I wanted to share with someone. And at the end of the day, sitting in my room, with the fan running, and the noise of Hillsong Kids in the background in Haven’s room, it’s a reality that seems to hit me in the face sometimes. Yet, there’s another thing that I was reminded of.
The happies:
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Haven dressing up and getting ready.
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Harbin feeding Haven’s monkey.
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Haven with her shoes for this year. She arranged herself. These are from a lady whom we have never met. A friend of the family works with her. We got these, along with a lot of clothes, a few years ago, and she is just now able to fit in them. I was struck by how God just knew….He knew…and His timing is perfect, kind of like the alignment of the shoes by Ms. Haven.
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PS….I have to throw in, the pink Crocs were not from the sweet lady, but picked out by my dad, and Haven’s Bopa…just so you know.:)
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A sweet little guy who loves me no matter what his hair looks like.
The teachers.
Teachers who love our son and teach and show him the love of Jesus and how much He loves him. (he had open house for his mothers day out tonight)
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The H’s.

I’m grateful I get to live out my life and testimony to a world that doesn’t understand You. Or what true forgiveness is. I’m grateful that when I have a day like today, You give me blessings in the midst. Things you show me, tangible and not so tangible ways. A sister that leaves me a comment saying how much she loves me—made my week. That my family loves and prays for me, no matter how often I see or talk to them. How you speak to me in ways that amaze me, yet I know it’s You. You speak even in the chaos and craziness when I’m at my wit’s end and am frustrated and angry…..and reassure me that’s it’s okay. Just breathe.

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