So, I have my days. Sometimes it’s every hour up and down, sometimes days. Where your heart is encouraged and then a few hours later, blech. It’s life. It’s reality. And although I’ve had those type of reality flashes, I just never have experienced one such as this. Hard really doesn’t cut it, so I’m not even going to try.
I’m thankful for family, for brothers and sisters. For those who encourage me to be real in my journey. To an amazing God, whom I don’t always have to understand, but He loves me and cares for me in the most tangible ways. HE is real. He doesn’t let us go. And how awesome that although this is a season of stirring, Haven sees just how real the Lord is in her little life and heart. Through the eyes of a 6 year old.
I’m thankful for intercessors and prayer warriors. Some who know me, some who don’t, who are led by the Holy Spirit……who cover us….who love us enough to stand and do battle with and for us. How humbling to realize that our God changes us through these processes to who He desires us to be for Him.
How God chooses to bring those people in our lives at just the right time even if we haven’t seen them in years. But He knew and it left me speechless. Literally. I couldn’t even tell this person without crying b.c I was so blown away by God and His goodness to me. Imperfect. Sinner. Praise the Lord I’m not the same as I was. I get to grow and change and forgive and release, and just live it out.
His grace is sufficient.
It’s amazing how God knows the little things in our lives. It’s a bit bittersweet. I set a goal to wean Harbin of his paci by his 2nd birthday, and then attempt to eventually wean him from his blankie. It’s quite sweet b.c he can say ‘paci’ now, and if he has his blankie, always ask for his paci to go with it, you know like oreos and milk. He takes the head of the giraffe, or tiger in the other picture, and takes the hear of it and rubs it on the end of his nose. He’s done that when he’s tired or in bed since he was at least 6 months old. The other night, I had turned the light off after I laid him down to go try and find said items. He just laid there, so I came back and shut the door. No crying, screaming, or kicking. Didn’t ask for it the next morning (this morning) and went down tonight without one.
I know it’s kind of a little thing, but to this mommy’s heart, it was huge. He’s growing up and yet, God knew it was be beyond tough. To let go, for both of us.
Sooo, for the transition for mommy, I am going to have them monogrammed and put in his hope chest…..
Aside from Shout to the Lord, this is on repeat in Haven’s cd player for bedtime. (it’s a kids worship CD) It’s still playing b.c I just can’t turn it off just yet. Even though it’s been playing for 3o minutes, it’s such a good reminder and so timely for my day today. And for that matter, this season.
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Thank You, that even though we read Your Word, these verses we hide in our hearts, we get to hear over and over again, to encourage us on days we need it the most. You are truly an amazing God.
Harbin, the almost 2 year old is getting his own 2 year-old ness. Like laying on the floor of Wal.Mart b.c he couldn’t get his new pacifiers until after I paid for them. Yes, he screamed. (I knew even though I was going in for 3 things, I should’ve got a cart…lesson learned)
Haven, the 6 year old, is getting to be quite girly. She, like every other girl, likes Hannah Montana, and the Barbie movies. And anything girly you see on Saturday morning commercials.
Me, I learned reality can hit you right in the face sometimes. It can be suttle, or full force right at ya. And when you continue to stand and fight, it’s hard not think of it as a setback, or let doubt set in. It’s just plain hard. But you live. Minute by minute day by day and know He has placed be in a strategic place. This battle belongs to Him.
Jesus, may You give me the heart of a 6 year old child, that kind of faith and honesty in my prayers.
Jesus, it’s me. Here I am. My arms outstretched, raised to you. I just wanted to tell You I love You. Thank You doesn’t seem adequate, but thank You for how You redeem those broken places. In every season, You are good.
Tonight, Haven was singing away and I asked her what it was she was singing. She said she was singing in a different language and then she said it meant ‘I love you Jesus. After her Barbie movie, she was singing a song from there about ‘being connected as friends’. As she sang, she replaced the friend part with being connected to Jesus.
It’s amazing to me how children are so aware…….their innocence spills over into their newness with Jesus in their heart and I’m so grateful for how her heart is being protected and she is learning to love her new friend Jesus.